Monday, October 18, 2010

The r word.

Raise your hand if you have ever chickened out of asking someone on a date because you were afraid of rejection. All of you, put your hands up. And if you're not putting your hand up, either you're lying or you're legityly not afraid of rejection (in which case, why are you reading this blog?)

In talking to people (both guys and girls) about asking out on dates, the number one fear I've discovered is rejection. Now, let's be honest, I don't like it either.

I'm here today, however, to change your perspective. When someone turns you down for a date, you don't have to get depressed and you definitely don't have to feel rejected.

Situation 1: You ask that certain someone you've had your eye on on a date and they tell you they're busy that night, but they'd love to go out another time.
Diagnosis: Not rejection. They're simply busy that night and you can ask them out another time. No harm, no foul.

Situation 2: You've been eyeing this person for a month or so now and you've finally worked up the guts to ask them on a date. They say, "Sorry, I'm not interested" or "Sorry, I'm dating someone."
Diagnosis: Not rejection. Now, this one's where it gets tricky. I'll bet you're saying to your computer screen right now "Of course that's rejection! They don't even want to go on a date with me."

My friends, it's all a matter of perspective. If your interest informs you that they're not interested, they just simplified your life! You don't have to wonder anymore. You know they're not and you can move on to someone else.

Somebody once told me "there is no use wasting time being heart broken over someone who is not your eternal companion". Now, I don't think I agree with that completely. There are great things that can be learned from experiencing a little heartbreak here and there. I'd change the statement to say "there is no use wasting time being heartbroken over someone who doesn't think you're worth their time." Why? Because if they don't think you're worth their time, they certainly aren't worth yours.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

What a Girl Wants: four guy's thoughts

One night my three roommates and I were chatting and we decided to come up with a list of things that the average normal girl wants in a guy/relationship. So here is our list, girls let us know what you think.

1. Security (psychological and physical)
2. Respect

3. Compatible sense of humor

4. Creativity
5. Appreciation

6. Initiative a. Goal-oriented/achievers

7. Good hygiene
8. Honesty

9. Integrity

10. Friendship

11. Equality

12. Chemistry and Romance

Now guys it would be super nice if each girl were the same and each of these things meant the same thing to them. But we are all individually different and there is no instruction manual for dating a particular girl. So start to read between the lines and find out what each of these categories mean to the girl of your interest.