Thursday, September 30, 2010

Differences between Men and Women

Yesterday in my institute class we talked about how the differences between men and women are God given and are actually blessings. We watched this video. It was a pretty humorous way of explaining the differences, but really accurate (as a generalization) at the same time.

Now, why would these differences be such a good thing? Think about it. Women having all those crazy wires going all the time, would essentially be able to focus on all her children at once. It's a nurturing thing. And men being able to have boxes and have such a direct focus? Balances the woman out and he's more able to problem solve because he has such good focus. And the nothing box? Men are the bread winners, so how great is it that they can do a repetitive task (i.e. work) every day and still be content. Yep. That's why we love the nothing box.

That's what we talked about in institute, it was great. I adore the "Preparing for an Eternal Marriage" manual and would absolutely recommend it to anyone. My teacher is pretty fantastic too. I'm loving this class.

So, here's today's tip:
Ladies, men like to solve problems. It's a gift they've been given. So, when you're talking to them, if you just want to whine and you just need sympathy, tell them. On the other hand, if you do want advice/problem-solving say so.
Men, girls have a lot on their minds. And they're so difficult to figure out because often even they don't know what they want. Simplest way to find out? Ask them.

Happy Dating. :)

Friday, September 24, 2010

Womanese and Mandrin

The other day at work I was trying to communicate instruction for a task to two Arabic workers. Their English was poor and they had a difficult time comprehending the instructions I was trying to give. As a result I ended up explaining things multiple times and had a to show them instead of just telling them what I wanted them to do. And in the end the task took much longer then necessary.
Many different times during conversations with significant others or just friends that are girls, there has been a gap in what each of us take out of the same conversation or even just statement. It has been shocking to me at times the meanings girls have taken from things that I have said. Often times my intentions were good, but were not understood as such.
Just last year I was dating a beautiful young lady. One evening we were headed to a Jazz game when I said that our relationship did not have enough depth. The meaning I hoped to convey was that we should work together to create more depth in our relationship. However, she took my statement to mean that I was thinking about breaking up with her. She was emotionally distraught, the remainder of the night there was a horrible tension and it was not enjoyable. Finally as I dropped her off at home we finally talked about it and realized our different views.
“Understanding women is a like trying to read and understand Isiah.” What does understanding Isiah take? Now I am not trying to pass all the blame on to woman for the problems we have communicating with the opposite sex. I am simply stating that we speak different languages.

A date! What's a date?

Well, you go out to dinner and talk about yourselves. Your likes and your dislikes, your interests. 

At least, that's what Enchanted tells us a date is. 

But really, what is a date? provides us with two related definitions: 
  • a social appointment, engagement, or occasion arranged beforehand with another person: to go out on a date on Saturday night.
  • a person with whom one has such a social appointment or engagement: Can I bring a date to the party?
So, grocery shopping with your roommate? That can be a date? I think a better description of the kind of date we're talking about comes from Elder Dallin H. Oaks' infamous talk, "Dating versus Hanging Out". He says, "A “date” must pass the test of three p’s: (1) planned ahead, (2) paid for, and (3) paired off." 

If it passes the three p's, it's a date. 

Here's what I want to know. Why do we have to have the three p's test? What happened to traditional "asking someone on a date"? Shouldn't we know that dates are dates instead of wondering if what we're on is actually a date?