I recently had some friends tell me that after I had been on a fifth date (mind you these were the only times we did anything so we did not have the standard 'hanging out' in between dates) with a girl that I either had to have a DTR with her and tell her that I was just getting to know her and taking things slow or I needed to hold her hand. For some reason in our society this false thinking that just because you have been out on a certain amount of dates something particular should be happening. What ever happened to really getting to know somebody and actually finding out if you want to hold their hand or kiss them before you do it?
Further on this point, I had a several friends that said that if I didn't talk to her or hold her hand, that I was sending mixed signals. I personally think from the view of a guy speaking MANdrin that I was being quite clear. I am interested in getting to know you so I am taking you on dates, but I want to really get to know you better before I hold your hand. So lets all not over-read into things and just take things for what they are.
Finally just a general question to throw out there... Why do you go to FHE as a single?
I go because if we have it, it's obviously something the Lord wants us to have in our singles wards. So, I go because I know the Lord wants me to. However, I very much believe that the purpose of it is for meeting people and potential dating. That's the purpose of YSA wards isn't it? Otherwise, we'd be in family wards and we wouldn't have FHE.
ReplyDeleteOur society has unfortunately come to expect this way of dating... holding hands at a certain time, etc. I believe that if you are open in your verbal communication in expressing what your intentions are in the relationship, she won't question your motives because you have already told her.
ReplyDelete"I like you, and want to continue taking you out on dates, but don't feel we should hold hands just yet until I know you better."
If I were that girl, I would agree, and continue pursuing the fun we are engaged in. LOL
Now, about FHE... I know it seems rather silly at times for those of us who don't have families to participate. But if we don't build a habit of it now can we honestly say we will apply it in our lives after marriage?
I think that's a good point. FHE in YSA wards definitely builds the habit. And it's definitely a habit that I want built now so that I don't struggle with it in my future family.
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